I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
