He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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