dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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