I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just tell him i said nine months
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
