I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
false alarm. still invincible.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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