why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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