You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
