i don't like sucking hair
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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