How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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