I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
