Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
They took my balls.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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