I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
