My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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