I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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