He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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