a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
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