Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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