if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
