PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
