garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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