I faked an abortion last night.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
