Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
