I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
