You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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