as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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