I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
