Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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