And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
