That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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