Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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