sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
