He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
