Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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