Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
