one two three fourrrrnication!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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