Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
