I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
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Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
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Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
is it fun? or sober?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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