then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
