The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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