dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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