I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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