fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
