are you still at the devil's house?
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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