have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
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At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Oh god it's open bar.
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