Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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