So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
