Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
