we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
