i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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