Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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