Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
