i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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