My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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