please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
