He disabled his match.com account in front of me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
