Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
