Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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