mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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