Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
