omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
